Losing My Edge?

I was thinking about how I have been in or around radio for the past 10 years. I pride myself on finding bands that no one has ever heard of, putting them into people's ear drums and hopefully improving someone's taste in music. The whole point of being on the vanguard of the music frontier was so that I could help educate my fellow music lovers.

I went to concerts. I prepped for said concerts by having the band's CD on repeat for weeks before. I took notes on set lists and noted opening bands. I dragged friends who had never heard of (insert band/musician here) to shows and delighted in the wonderment that was in their eyes. I was a conduit. I was an educator.

Last night, at the Arcade Fire show at the Roy Wilkins Auditorium, I wondered, "Am I losing my edge?" The show was great. I had listened to all of Arcade Fire's CDs since early September. I had done everything as prescribed. The show was great. However, I watched the crowd around me. The floor was packed with fans who knew every word or were losing their mind with excidedness. There is nothing wrong with this, but I felt slightly off. This feeling lasted with me all night and into the next day.

This lingering feeling has persisted when I think about how I cannot write a decent review of this concert. It was great, no doubt, but I feel I can't capture the experience like I once could. This was also made apparent when I have discussions with my "music heads" with whom I share music and critique new albums. I hear myself saying "Yeah, I've heard of them but not the actual music." Retention of what band they sound like or what genre they will fit in is low. I do not always have strong opinions on new albums. Frequently the albums that are making my best of the year list are getting trashed. I was recently asked to provide my first listen comments on the new Interpol album by a writer I respect. Upon reviewing my ramblings, a feeling of Pollyanna/shame washed over me. The words on the page hardly felt like they were my own and even though I hit send (after a few revisions), I did so sheepishly.

What's different? On the average, number of albums listened to has remained about the same if not increased. Perhaps it is the increase in the number musical critiques I listen to every week. Another contributing factor is that I am no longer on the air playing music, but rather working in the news department. Getting back to programming a regular show would be great, but I don't see that happening in the Minneapolis market without a solid foot in the door or concept.